Why doesn't the wife want to work?

  1. Causes
  2. Should it work?
  3. How to solve the problem?
  4. Psychologist's advice

Many men face such a problem that their wives do not want to work. We will talk below about the reasons for this and how to solve this problem.


There can be many reasons why a wife does not want to work and stays at home. For some, this is not a problem at all, and such a family way of life suits everyone, but for someone it can become a real reason for the current wife to become an ex. However, this problem can and should be solved if it bothers you.

First, you need to figure out the reasons why your spouse does not want to work.

  • Perhaps she adheres to patriarchal foundations and believes that a man should provide for the family, and her duties include taking care of the home, cooking, cleaning, raising children.
  • It may also be that she simply does not have an education or her field of activity is not in demand, which is why her choice in terms of work is limited to positions, which, in her opinion, are meaningless.
  • It is also possible that there are too many household responsibilities on the shoulders of a girl or a woman, and the additional responsibility in the form of work will only be a burden for her.
  • It often happens that the wife does not want to go to the workplace after a long maternity leave. It is quite possible that during all this time spent with the child, the woman has lost some of her professional skills, which is why, at first, difficulties may arise at work, which she is diligently trying to avoid.
  • In addition, health problems can be a reason for unwillingness to work.

In any case, there can be a lot of reasons, they are all individual. Therefore, it would be best to just talk to your spouse without scandals and reproaches in order to understand the motives of her behavior.

Should it work?

On this occasion, men can argue indefinitely. Someone adheres to traditions, which is why they are convinced that only the husband should work. And someone, on the contrary, likes the modern family way more. In general, this issue should be resolved between the spouses, depending on the specific circumstances and without the participation of third parties.

Let's consider the most common situations that can arise in different families.

If there are no financial problems

If there are no financial problems, and you are quite capable of supporting yourself and your family on your own, then in this case it may seem that your wife does not have to get a job. Of course, both of you can be satisfied with such a family structure. However, the risk that you may suddenly lose your earnings for one reason or another cannot be ruled out. In this case, it will be difficult for both of you.

So, if a woman is employed in such a situation, this will only serve as a plus both for her and for the whole family, even if the earnings are small.

After the decree

When leaving the decree, difficulties with work are quite possible. And therefore do not insist that the spouse immediately go to get a full-time job. In order to get used to it a little and get comfortable, for a start, she can go to courses for some time in order to improve her qualifications and replenish lost work skills, or to get a part-time job.

Don't pressure your spouse. Remember that it is very difficult to get comfortable in the work sphere after one and a half and even more so three years spent with a child. However, a woman's life should not be focused on just one child.

If a child is sick

The situation here is quite difficult, because in this case you cannot leave the child alone, you need to look after him. At best, you will have to call your grandmother or other relatives for help, who will agree to sit with your child. However, not always and not everyone can find free time and the desire for this. This is, of course, the worst outcome of events.

In this case, you will have to resort to babysitting or take sick leave. Babysitting services are not currently included in the list of cheap ones, and by the way, as many know, many employers have a negative attitude to the latter option, so if your child is sick too often, there is a great risk of losing his job.

Therefore, in this case, it would be quite reasonable to think about having the wife take care of the child's treatment and look after him. but even in such a situation, with a strong desire to work and the availability of time for this, you can find a way out - for example, work remotely.

If you don't have enough money

If your family has an acute shortage of money, then this is noticeable for everyone, including your spouse. In this case, her going to work is simply necessary, especially if she requires money and does not want to be content with little.

How to solve the problem?

First, you need to understand the reasons for your spouse's unwillingness to work. Talk to her without screaming and quarreling, discuss everything. Try to simulate with her a situation where she is left without a "safety cushion" in your face for any reason, and then draw conclusions.

If your spouse is completely responsible for everyday life, then offer to share household chores equally so that everything is fair. It is unlikely that a woman will want to work all day somewhere, and then as much more at home, because this does not motivate at all.

Try to search together for jobs where your wife could work. And if necessary, find the necessary courses for mastering the profession.

Psychologist's advice

The worst thing you can do in a situation like this is to threaten divorce or put any psychological pressure on your wife.

Most psychologists recommend solving the problem of a spouse's unwillingness to work through peaceful conversations. Find advantages for your wife in having your own income and not depending on anyone, tell us what opportunities will be available to her. Help her become interested in any field of activity, find her goal, which will encourage her not to sit at home all day, but to do something.

Besides, let's say the option of a joint visit to a family psychologist who will help you understand the causes of this problem, as well as find a solution for it.

no comments